Yesterday, I coached a small business team who was facing problems in communication due to friction caused by strong opinions and flaring attitudes. We discussed some of the ABC’s of effective communication, but the big breakthrough came when I gave each member a chance to calmly express something that made them angry.
Some of the things that angered the workers were people working too slowly, people not paying enough attention to detail and one employee even admitted she felt angry anytime she didn’t get her own way. Allowing members to admit their own sources of irritation allows them to expose their own weaknesses instead of having other people point them out.
The interesting realization occurred when we compared each person’s source of stress to the values that person embraced in their individual characters. It became clearly evident that we tend to dislike anyone who does not possess our same qualities. When the team members realized that the source of their stress was their hidden desire for everyone to be just like them, they saw how illogical and silly they were behaving.
When we accept that everyone has inherent flaws, but that everyone also brings different strengths to the table, then we can achieve a level of mutual respect where communication can flourish naturally.